I have eaten a dog treat.
Not on a dare. Not as a gag. I was at Portland Pet Food Company's tasting bar — yes, they have one, and no, it's not for humans — and I got curious. Their ingredient list was so clean, so simple, so "human-grade," that I thought, "Why not?"
It was a chicken and sweet potato biscuit. It tasted like cardboard. Not good cardboard. The kind of cardboard that has been left in the rain and then dried in the sun. But Murphy loved it. And that's what matters.
But here's the thing: that "low-calorie" treat? It was 25 calories. For a biscuit the size of a poker chip. Twenty-five calories. That sounds small. But for a 20-pound dog that needs 400 calories per day, that's 6 percent of their daily budget. In one tiny biscuit. Give four of those per day? That's 25 percent of their calories. In treats. That are supposed to be "low calorie."
I spent an afternoon at Portland Pet Food Company tasting — well, not tasting, but analyzing — every low-calorie treat they had. I read the labels. I calculated the calories. I weighed the treats. And I found something that made me want to flip a table.
Most "low-calorie" treats are not low calorie. They're just small. A 25-calorie treat is "low calorie" compared to a 100-calorie bully stick. But it's not low calorie for a small dog. It's not low calorie if you give four of them. It's not low calorie if you don't count them toward the daily total.
I found one brand — again, not naming names, but it's popular on Instagram — that marketed their treats as "only 5 calories each!" Sounds great, right? Until you realize the treat is the size of a pea. And the bag says "feed 10-15 per day." Ten to fifteen. That's 50-75 calories. For treats the size of peas. That your dog swallows in one bite. That don't satisfy them. That don't fill them up. That just make them want more.
And then there's the "all-natural" treats. The ones with ingredients you can pronounce. Chicken. Sweet potato. Carrots. Apples. Sounds healthy. Sounds wholesome. Sounds like something you'd eat yourself. But "all-natural" doesn't mean "low calorie." A chicken and sweet potato treat is still calories. It's still fat. It's still sugar. It's still contributing to your dog's weight. And if you're not measuring it, if you're not counting it, if you're not budgeting it, it's making your dog fat.
So what do I recommend? Not treats from a bag. Not biscuits from a box. Not "low-calorie" chews from a boutique store. I recommend vegetables. Carrots. Green beans. Cucumber slices. Apple pieces. Zero-calorie, high-volume, satisfying. Your dog can have a whole cup of green beans for 30 calories. They can chew on a carrot for 20 minutes. They can crunch on cucumber slices and feel like they're getting a treat. Because they are. It's just a treat that doesn't make them fat.
I tell my clients: if you want to give your dog a treat, go to the produce section. Not the pet food aisle. The produce section. Buy carrots. Buy green beans. Buy cucumbers. Cut them up. Put them in a bag. And give them to your dog. They're cheaper than dog treats. They're healthier than dog treats. And they're actually low calorie. Because vegetables are low calorie. And dogs love them. Even the picky ones. Even the ones who "only eat meat." Try a frozen green bean. They'll change their mind.
So stop buying "low-calorie" treats. Start buying vegetables. Your dog's waistline will thank you. Your wallet will thank you. And your dog will thank you. Because a healthy dog is a happy dog. And a happy dog doesn't need treats from a bag. They just need you. And a carrot.
—Megan (currently on my third cup of coffee because writing this made me tired)
Let me tell you about the most deceptive marketing I've ever seen. A brand of dog treats — again, not naming names, but it's popular on Instagram — markets their treats as "only 3 calories each!" Sounds amazing, right? You can give your dog 20 treats per day and it's only 60 calories. That's nothing. That's barely a snack. That's basically free.
Except it's not free. Because the treats are the size of a pea. And your dog swallows them in one bite. And they're not satisfying. They don't fill your dog up. They don't satisfy their chewing instinct. They don't provide any mental stimulation. They're just empty calories. And your dog wants more. Because they're not full. Because they're not satisfied. Because they just ate 20 peas and they're still hungry.
So you give them more. And more. And more. Because "they're only 3 calories each." And before you know it, you've given your dog 50 treats. That's 150 calories. For a 20-pound dog that needs 400 calories per day, that's 37 percent of their daily budget. In treats. That are supposed to be "low calorie." That are supposed to be "guilt-free." That are making your dog fat while you think you're being careful.
I had a client named Rachel. She had a 30-pound Corgi named Waffles. Waffles was 10 pounds overweight. Rachel was feeding him "low-calorie" treats. She gave him 30 per day. "They're only 5 calories each," she said. "That's only 150 calories. That's not much."
Except Waffles needed 600 calories per day. 150 calories in treats? That's 25 percent of his budget. In treats. That don't fill him up. That don't satisfy him. That just make him want more. And Rachel was also feeding him a full cup of kibble. Plus table scraps. Plus dental chews. Waffles was eating 1,200 calories per day. Double his needs. And Rachel thought she was being "careful" because the treats were "low calorie."
We stopped the treats. All of them. Replaced them with carrots. Green beans. Cucumber slices. Waffles could have a whole cup of carrots for 50 calories. He could chew on them for 20 minutes. He could feel full. He could feel satisfied. And he could lose weight. Which he did. 8 pounds in 6 months. Without a single "low-calorie" treat. Without a single trip to the pet store. Without a single dollar spent on fancy packaging.
So stop buying "low-calorie" treats. Stop falling for marketing. Stop believing that a tiny, unsatisfying, empty-calorie treat is better than a real, filling, satisfying vegetable. Your dog doesn't care about the packaging. They don't care about the brand. They don't care about the Instagram ads. They care about being full. They care about being satisfied. They care about being healthy. And vegetables do all three. For a fraction of the cost. With none of the deception. And with all of the love.
—Megan (currently on my third cup of coffee because writing this made me tired)
